Tuesday, 9 March 2010

Oscars 2010 – Worst dresses

I love Oscars! I absolutely do! I never ever watch the award ceremony though…
People get so worked up about it, this movie should have won; no the other one, no the other one… as if it really matters.
They will spend days arguing, and yet tastes differ, a lot… So do tastes in clothing.
I saw some really beautiful Oscar red carpet and after party dresses, but of course, I also saw some unforgivably bad ones.
So I decided to pick ten worst dresses of the 2010 Oscars. You may not agree with me, but that is entirely your problem.

The order is random, it’s not a top list, just a top ten in charts of bad taste.

1. Zoe Saldana – you know what this dress first reminded me when I saw it? Remember those sweaters from the nineties? They were in three colours like her skirt / dress ? They were even the same colour, kids from « Beverly Hills » were wearing them and girls from « Clueless »… which was my second association to this outfit… Zoe must be completely clueless.

2. Hilary Swank – Hilary is a very beautiful woman, I can’t imagine why would she make a mistake this bad… It just looks so… well, cheap… and uncomfortable too. Celebrities never learn… flesh flashing is tricky and more than often the results are neither classy nor fabulous.

3. Vera Farmiga – WTF?! was indeed my first reaction to this dress. I mean, a wave here, a wave there and she completely drowned in this fuchsia storm of ugliness. This was just plain stupid. I’ll buy them mirrors if they can’t afford them. Do not always listen to your stylists, they don’t care, it’s your reputation they are ruining, listen to your common sense next time. Do not wear things that are obviously just plain ridiculous.

4. Salma Hayek – Salma decided that tribal outfit is a way to go. Is that something from her native country or she was actually expecting Avatar to win the Best Picture? I mean nomination alone was already too much, but I am getting off the subject here…

5. Sarah Jessica Parker – Et tu Sarah? I’ve always found her NYC chic style very appealing, so I was quite disappointed with a “sac ‘o potatoes” dress… It’s not too bad, there are worse, it’s just that I expect more from her. The only thing is, I wonder, how come all those incredibly smart journalists still haven’t published any “Is S. J. P. hiding a baby bump under that dress?!” kind of articles…well, whatchawaitingfor?

6. Nicole Richie – Nicole is simply too short to wear these kind of maxi dresses. Life sucks, I know… And the colours are all wrong for her, she looks sick, brighten up kiddo. Elegant – she is, but something just doesn’t feel right, she looks like she’s wearing a smoke curtain.

7. Jennifer Lopez – from a certain distance J. Lo’s dress looks as if it were made out of bubble wrapper. Was it? I have a thing for bubble wrappers, like all psychotic and neurotic people. Oh, yeah, I was talking about J. Lo, well, I just didn’t like it, the whole futuristic Disney Princess bubble wrapper thing didn’t work for me. Her after party dress was even worse.

8. Diane Kruger – Kentucky fried chick, isn’t she? Gosh, I can’t believe that hen costume is actually Chanel. Take that Coco.

9. Charlize Theron – I absolutely love Charlize and her style… and the fact that she is Galliano’s muse, him being the only God I believe in, and this dress isn’t hideous, it’s just that these strategically positioned rosebuds make it a bit ridiculous. The rest is beautiful.

10. Kate Winslet – jeeez Kate? I know she never had any taste, but this is weird. It took me a while to understand whether it’s a dress or a costume or what. I don’t like the colour, makes you look sick. And I find it a bit too serious for an absurd ceremony like Oscars.

Honourable mention – Marisa Tomei – a perfect example of how a nice looking woman can turn herself into an odd looking woman by putting on a drag queen show dress, go Marisa!

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